Thursday, September 16, 2010

Cash's Ontological Crisis

So Cash,( my new dog) or Cashi as he is affectionately called from time to time is having a hard time coming to terms with the definitions and structural set up of the human world. I admit, I don't always have an easy time of it myself, so here goes our scenario

Me to the dog" Wooden knitting needle on the coffee table, may look like a stick to you but no, it is actually a human implement. Yes I do realize it is made out of wood like a stick, and the shape of the knitting needle roughly resembles that of a stick, but sorry you are not allowed to chew on this type of wood if it is in the house"

Conversation number 2-" That post that you keep lifting your leg on once I let you outside, may look like a tree, and yes we did open the door and technically, go outside, but in the human realm, that semi- outside area is called a porch and that tree you thought you were peeing on is actually not a tree, but a porch post, granted it is made out of wood, and covered in hops vines leading one to reasonably believe that it is treelike,and has outdoor, natural world characteristics, but the humans aren't very happy when you pee on it. Just to confuse your little dog brain even further- Outside actually begins when you are out the door, down the steps, and off the porch, a mere technicality but important point nonetheless. Sorry, I know we humans are complicated creatures, but we do provide sofas and feed you dogs well